Goodbye, is what God wants me to tell you.

I am young.You’re 5 years older than me. I always wonder why you fell for me. They assure me that it was because I am who I am. They said it was because I was lovable. They said it was because I have everything. But I don’t. I’m everything imperfect.

You know exactly why I ignore you. Or maybe you don’t because you haven’t reached lesson 18 yet. But when you do, you’ll understand. You’ll understand why I said I still made a huge mistake even though it led you to the truth. It’s because, for us, INC, you were merely a test of faith. If I fail, I’d be destroyed. And, I don’t want that again. I don’t wanna make a mistake again. My being a Church of Christ member, is everything to me. And, I fear God a lot. He’s my priority. You have to know that for you to be saved, you have to blameless. You might think I’m selfish enough that I wanted so much to be saved on the day of Judgment and I’ll leave you just like that. But I’m not.

In fact, my salvation is the only way to see my sister again. God took her to be my motivation. I haven’t been a good sister to her. I love her so much, and I owe her a lot. I can’t just fail.

So, it’s goodbye. We’ll see each other again. I’m still young. You’re still young. And on that time, it wouldn’t be that awkward. And maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t be a test of faith anymore. 🙂

Proverbs 30:17

Ever roll your eyes at your parents? The Almighty God was offended! Stay away from birds, especially big scavenger birds of prey! God condemns even facial disrespect of parents. He hates the irreverent looks, gestures, and attitudes toward parents that are common today. Learn to honor the first authority in your life.

I confess, I do this sometimes.. But because God hates it, I’ll watch myself always .. (:

“My own place under the sun..”

“There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again.”  Elizabeth Lawrence said. And she is right in every way 🙂

I was born in my grandparent’s house at Salcedo Eastern Samar. Their humble domicile was my first home, the spacious backyard was my first enchanted forest, the boarding house was my first playhouse, the store was my first grocery, and the whole village was my first playground. I grew up with my mom’s folks. Because mom was working at Manila as well as my dad. When I was about four or five years old, I remember wondering why I have to live with my grandparents when all my cronies were living with their own folks. But now that I’m older, I realized why that is 🙂

My  lola was every “granny” anyone would ever love to have. She was loving, caring, very thoughtful, kind in every way, the BEST cook, she spoils me(which is ALOT, even upto now!), she gives me whatever i want, and she was my savior! My aunt and uncle used to mock me everyday, and I can’t help but fight back. Whenever I reach the line too far, they would get their hands on me, but because lola was there, they did not stand a chance. 😀

My lolo was quite the disciplinarian, he has those eyes that would scrutinize your every move, he’s very keen, and is very neat for an old man. He’s surprisingly strong too, and if he orders you something and you failed to comply, you might as well start praying. He’s also quite the perfectionist! And I was scared of him. So, whatever he wants me to do, I comply. When he told me to sleep, I grudgingly went to bed. When he told me to eat up everything, I’ll grudgingly finish my meal. And when he told me not to eat too much sweets especially the candies and chocolates, I grudgingly stop picking candies at the store at my leisure.

Because of these people, I became a spoiled yet disciplined child.

I also had the wildest imagination. Our backyard was full of caimito, banana, and coconut trees. The front yard has a mango tree which I climb every morning. From atop the tree, I called my bestfriends. They were surely awake by the time I wake up because they were instructed to do household chores. I’m sure they heard my yelling, so after going down the tree, I drink my milk from the fridge. I prefferred my milk cold. Then, my lola would serve me my breakfast. After eating, my friends would be waiting for me at the front lawn. I hurriedly bade goodbye to my grandma then dashed out with my friends to their front yard and started playing encantadia. I was Amihan, jessa was Pirena, Cristy was Danaya, and lexa was Alena. We started sword fighting each other with bamboo stalks, and because I was Amihan, I always win! 😀 Our guy friends were also joining the fight and we were all having fun. Sometimes, we use our boarding house as our home when we play “bahay-bahayan”. After that, we visit the woods at the back of the elementary school and pretend to conjure spells and jinx each other. After the joyous 2-3 hours of playing, I immediately get back home before lolo does. If he found out I was playing outside, I’m so deaad! Then at four o’ clock every afternoon, I resume playing with my friends.

That was my routine until I was 7, when my mom decided I should live with her and my dad. It pained me to leave our place for manila because I was so attached to my kith and kin back there. But there was also this adventurous part in me where I wanna see more of the world I’ve been born to, so it was all a little bittersweet. When my folks changed their mind and decided to live here at Leyte, I was overjoyed. Because that meant that I could go home and see my grandparents and Salcedo more often. I visit every summer and reminisce everything that happened there. It was the place where I thought that I have powers. It was the place of my imagination, my fantasies, my childhood…

And most importantly, it is my own place under the sun… 🙂

The day you left Leyte..

The day you left Leyte, the heavens cried. I was left staring into space. Thinking, thinking hard. How am I supposed to take care of my siblings when I couldn’t even look after myself? I hear the rain pouring heavily on our roof, mom’s gone, and I have the heavens weep on my behalf.

My mother is the greatest blessing I have ever received from God. It’s hard to tidy things at home without her around, much more to stop the chaos between my siblings. But she left me a big responsibility with confidence. She trusts me, so I guess I’ll just have to trust myself too.

Months passed, it wasn’t so bad as I thought. When suddenly, my sister died. I kept thinking, if I had just listened to mom, when she told me to rush her to St. Paul’s rather than settle at LPH, she3 must’ve lived. It was a big blow. It was tragic when the last word she said was: mama, and mom wasn’t there. I could’ve brought her more time, to see our mother for the last time. But I haven’t. and there I found out, I wasn’t fit, I wasn’t ready to carry such a big responsibility.

Alliyah, I LOVE YOU Now and Forever

 Death:  the most natural of all events. It’s the most inevitable. It’s the most painful. Especially when you see it happen. Dying is a process. When you die, you do not die abruptly. From the day you were born till your last breath, you are dying. You just wither out slowly. However, the same thing was different for her. It was not the same thing for my sister. I saw her dying fast.

Viral pneumonia enclosed her lungs for two days. The night before she died, my father and I were hopeful. She was responding well to the medicine given to her but, I was no fool to be at peace with her progress. I am the type of person who was open to accept all possibilities. And the possibility of death was welcome in my mind. The physicians who attended her knew that it was too late. I could see from their eyes that there was only one thing that could save her: prayer. That night we prayed like I always do. But not all the time you get what you asked for. The doctors’ prediction and my presumption took place on August 1, 2012 at 7:47 am, when God willed to grant her rest. The last word that came out from my five year-old sister’s mouth was: mama.

 I said earlier I was open to all possibilities, little did I know that I was less prepared to accept her passing. When reality hits you straight in the face, you’re helpless. Emotions engulf you like water. Memories, loss, regrets, and the biggest “what if?!” of your life sums it up. What if I brought her straight to St. Paul’s hospital and not to LPH? She might have been saved. Despite her struggles for the breath she was not made to take, when my mom arrived and held her for the last time, all the trace of her sufferings you could see from her face waned away. You could only see peace, innocence, and the look of a bright future forever gone.

But instead of moping around, weeping, crying all over and stuff, I knew better. Rather, My faith knew better. God owns us all. This life, it’s not ours, but His. Whatever God’s decisions, it’s for the better. And I respect it. I thank our Father for giving me such a wonderful sister I’ve been anticipating for a decade.  I had more than enough. And God gave me enough time to show Alliyah how much her big sis loves her. She was kind and loving. She was a music lover, an artist, an intelligent student, a thoughtful sister, and she loves the spotlight. J She looked very much like me, except for the hair and skin tone, her curls were more gorgeous and she was tan.  She was also quite advanced for her age, she talks like a 25 year-old lady who knew much of this world. And, she brought us all together. A lot of people might say that this is very hard for us. But true Christians knew that a trial like what happened is merely a test of faith. On the First epistle of Peter, Chapter 1, verses 6 and 7, it is written:

In this you greatly rejoice, though you know for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials,

That the genuineness of your faith , being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Yes, we miss her so much. But, we have to endure. Those who endure till the end will be saved, according to Matthew 24:13. After all, it won’t be long, and we’ll see each other again.


One of the most…

One of the most anticipated event of Taclobanons is there City Fiesta. People enjoying much of the Pintados Kasadyaan Festival and the Sangyaw’s Parade of Lights, all in honor of Tacloban’s patron Saint Sr. Sto Nino! Tacloban’s pretty ladies joining the ever glamorous Search for Ms.Tacloban 2012. And not just Tacloban girls but also the gorgeous girls of the whole Region 8 vie for the crown of Ms. Pintados and Ms. Teen Pintados and The Bituon ng Leyte!

That’s not all! The Taclobanons also enjoy going to the carnival every night. A lot of teens crowd the rides: roller coaster, bump cars, ferris wheel, horror train, and others. The party never stops! Fiestas would never be fun without Chow Time! Everyone did enjoy ! 😀